This has been the strangest year of my life. Two people very close to me have passed away, and I feel like time has slowed down. I have no idea how I've gotten through, but the days keep coming . . . slowly. I used to pray at night and thank God for how lucky I am - for my family, and Eb's family and our friends. I really didn't know just how lucky I was until two of the people I prayed for at night passed away. I am still very lucky but I miss them.
School is marching along, I can't believe it's almost spring. Two months until April and then only a year until the wedding! It seems so silly - the wedding, the planning, the excitement . . . none of it matters when you've lost people that you love. You start to realize how frivolous it is when people you love won't be there to experience it with you. I love Eb, I love his family and I love that our families will be the same in just over a year . . . but that means more to me than a ceremony or party. It just puts everything in perspective.
I was thinking today about how my mom's family lost the head of the family, my grandpa, and it was sad. And then, I was thinking how my dad lost the love of his life and that was sad too. I know that they empathize with each other, my two families, but for me it is sad because I am part of them both. Two people in my life that were very important in different ways, on different sides of my family. I feel a lot of responsibility lately and I don't know if I can handle it. I am ready and I am trucking along, but it gets hard sometimes because I am sad too.
Eb and I are still making cakes and everything is great at our house. We hung up our new fans we got for Christmas, and our house is a mess because - who wants to clean after winter break? Cleaning and spraying weeds will be this weekend, but there is lots to do. Liz's bachelorette party is tomorrow, and we made the most amazing cake! Leslee's celebration of life is sunday and we will be there putting on our grown-up faces and standing by my dad making sure everyone is alright.
This weekend will be busy but fun and we are looking forward to it. I love my family (all 3 of them soon!) and enjoy being around them when I get the chance. Lately, dad and I have been going on lots of dates and it's been so much fun. I love getting to know my dad, and spending so much time with him. It's sad it had to come after a loss, but I am happy I get to see him more often.
So, above are our most recent cakes. The first was for Liz's bridal shower and the next is for the bachelorette party. I wanted to make a penis cake (see pic I got off the internet) but she wanted a skull so we made it for her.
Lots of love to my friends and family, I love you and thank God for you every day. I hope that Leslee is in heaven with grandpa, where they both feel good and are waiting for us. But, not too soon - because we have lots of living to do!
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